I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
