so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
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