i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
