So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Randomize
