I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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