Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
