You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
