I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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