Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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