Don't you send me to vm
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
