may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
I enjoy the company of your penis
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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