dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
