brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Randomize
