Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
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