Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
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hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
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