Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Randomize
