i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
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I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
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I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
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