okay pat passed out under dana's car
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
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