When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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