he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
