I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize