I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Small penises have feelings too.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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