Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Randomize
