you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
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