Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
