My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize
