I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Randomize
