i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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