I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
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