I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
USA USA USA
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now