I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
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on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
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At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.