i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
