I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Randomize
