apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
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gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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