Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Randomize
