I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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