think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
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