Got a toothbrush?
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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