I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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