I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
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