Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Randomize
