it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize