More tranny stories later!
You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
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