stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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