Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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