porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Randomize
