it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
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And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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