Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
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