I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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