I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
is this the sara with the beer cane?
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
