All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
