No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
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