When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Randomize
