There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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