do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
