and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
My apartment stinks of burning failure
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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