Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Randomize