I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Randomize
