remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
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