I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Randomize