I never want to see another naked old woman again.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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