Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
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