If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
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That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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