i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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