I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
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