Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
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