My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
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