something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
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