I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
