I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
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