well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
