im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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