I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
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